Wine Wednesday Mystic Grill Covington Georgia

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My dear friend Ms. Brenda and my new succulent

My dear friend Ms. Brenda has given me a succulent plant. I am not certain as to what kind it is but it sure is cute. It is a tiny succulent that I am needing to repot. I hope that it will continue to grow and that I will have it forever. As every time I pass by the little guy I think of Ms. Brenda’s self -discipline, self – control and harmonious humanitarian life she lives and love her for it. She is a great influence in my life. Being a teacher she passes along great things to me in life and has for some time now. She has taught in several other states and countries. She always seems to know just how to soothe my soul. Loving you Ms. Brenda.

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Merle Norman Summer Scarves are in!

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Welcome July 2015

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As tomorrow begins a new day and a new month I am more determined than ever to have placed into law Charli Savannah’s Law. A law giving children their very own attorney during the course of a divorce proceeding and not the divorcing parent’s attorney. One that will give complete and total devotion, commitment and care to the children involved as no one involved in my 5 children’s lives stepped up and gave a damn after my being hospitalized for family violence and codependency with Mr. Sasser as the abuser and myself as the caregiver codependent to his bad habits. My children had fallen through the cracks and were left unattended by many until I stepped up and took a stand in 2005 and began filing back against Mr. Sasser as justice has since been served for family violence victims, parental alienation, parental reunification and the mentally challenged in the State of Georgia. Justice has been served in Rockdale County and The Alcovy Judicial Circuit time and time again since the 1990’s with me as primary caregiver for over 10 years to 5 children beginning in 1992 with my own son Tyler that I have been very close with and shared a wonderful mother and son bond and relationship with through out the years. Now 22.

With the summer months upon us now I am working extra hard towards Charli Savannah’s Law for the New Year 2016 and will be continuing to share of my ideas with the state. I will not let this dream of mine stray or default.

I am also planning on making application for Certified Peer Specialist in The State of Georgia and also to begin Stephen Ministry classes and training in August at Eastridge Community Church in Covington, Georgia to accompany my career as a nursing assistant in the State of Georgia. I want to embark on a new journey into the mental health world completely with my CPS Certification and Stephen Ministry Certification and help the mentally challenged to recover and to thrive.

I have never taken the law into my own hands even though I have suffered a great deal of pain, grief, trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to my ex husband’s continued hatred and bullying and constant state of contempt along with this State damning me as a parent and a mother for no legitimate reason ever other than being hospitalized at Peachford for family violence after being treated at Northside Emergency Room and Northside Staff reporting the abuse to The Rockdale County Sheriff’s Department. This information can ben seen at WordPress fully documented and scanned as well as has been given to the courts over the course of the last ten plus years.

No hint, question, suggestion, implication nor accusation as to any wrong doing on my behalf as a mother nor as a wife has ever been in question or put before me. Not ever. Not once. Not by anyone in this State but yet I have had to carry the burden and weight of the parental alienation and suffer as though my children had died. Which is exactly what I have been told has been my experience. Just as though my four girls had died is the life I have had to live with and endure for ten plus years. Even given Mr. Sasser nor Mr. Sasser’s family has ever had complaint one in regard to my mothering or my wifely obligations as the divorce was based on irretrievably broken or irreconcilable differences. Same difference to me. On my behalf that is the fact of the matter. Not including Mr. Sasser however. Which has been held at fault and in contempt on several instances.

I have been a strong advocate in the State of Georgia for children since 1992 to current. My advocacy did not just begin with my own two biological children as I have been advocate and primary caregiver and adopting mother to three step daughter’s in 1999 as well and have written numerous times of the independent adoption report that was carried out and that I was subjected to by this great State of Georgia in order to adopt my three step daughters.

1999 Adoption of my 3 step daughter’s after much advocacy for them in the court system in Rockdale County as their natural mother has been investigated and charged with much remiss, neglect and abuse.

Independent Adoption Report – State of Georgia

I. Verification of allegations contained in the petition

II. Circumstances under which the minor children came to be placed for adoption

III. Whether the proposed adoptive parent is financially, phsically and mentally able to have the permanent custody of the minor child

IV. The physical and mental condition of the minor children to be adopted

V. Whether or not the adoption is in the best interest of the minor children

VI. Suitability of the home to the minor children

VII. Other information – References

Four references were obtained on myself, Leslie Syles, school counselor, Julie Manders, school counselor, Mark Zielenske, family friend, Charles and Dot Sasser. All of the references support the adoption of the minor children by the petitioner, April Christina Fuller Sasser

In order to become a CPS and obtain my certification the following criteria must be met:

I am working as a  Certified Nursing Assistant and am planning to continue by applying for Certified Peer Specialist in the State of Georgia.

The requirements being:

> Candidates must have diagnosis of mental illness or a dual diagnosis of mental illness and addictive disease and must desire to identify themselves as a person with mental illness current or former consumer of mental health services.

> Applicants must hold a high school diploma or GED and may be requested to provide a copy of this document.

> Must demonstrate strong reading comprehension and written communication skills as indicated on their responses on the pre – test which is part of the application.

> Must have demonstrated experience with leadership, advocacy or governance.

> Must be well grounded in recovery

These facts are taken directly from the Certified Peer Specialist brochure.

The motto of the CPS being “Each One Reach One.”

This summer will be a very busy summer for me as I plan to work really hard as a nursing assistant in my career along with applying for my Certified Peer Specialist Certification and Stephen Ministry training classes along with continuing my efforts of children having their own legal representation during the course of a divorce so that they do not go overlooked as my children have and with no just cause. Which has led to much self destruction, demise and self corruption in my children’s lives whom my girls have no formal education and many children to their name with no hope of a formal education and to my knowledge no career goals in sight due to Mr. Sasser’s incompetence and allowing them by his signature to abandon their high school education with no college ever. Prayerful that my girls will come to realize just how important and crucial and vital that their education is to their lives and prayerful that they will act upon it and remember the days of when I was in college as a full time mother in 1999-2002 as they were growing up and realize that they can make a difference in their lives if they will work hard and apply themselves and persevere. So prayerful for all my children’s futures as I have been over the last ten years unjustly due to this state damning and raping all five of us over the coals all due my being at Peachford and a family violence victim. I have never had addictive diseases such as alcoholism nor drugs in my history. Not ever. I am in my 40’s and have never even smoked marijuana much less any other drug or street drug. Not ever and have never been questioned of such either for that matter and furthermore my emotional issues have been brought on by this states negligence to my children and my parental alienation and estrangement that I have had to endure and been expected to take like a classy lady at all times. Not ever taking the law into my own hands and always allowing the Court to have their ruling and with many wins to our full behalf. Many wins to my full behalf since 1992 to present for all five of my children.

Given I am working towards my CPS Certification, Stephen Ministry Certification, a career as a nursing assistant which I have held for some time now along with Charli Savannah’s Law I will be very busy during these summer months and “Welcome July!” A brand new month and a brand new sparkling new day when I rise.

I plan on attending the 4th of July events in my hometown of Downtown Covington, Georgia at the historic Courthouse on the Square with my boyfriend Ken by my side as we enjoy the grand festivities that Newton County always has and the great display and amazing show of justice and lady liberty that they always put on for its citizens. Looking forward to this July, this 4th Celebration and the upcoming summer months this 2015. Staying positive and positively busy and focused. Thank you the reader for continuing to follow along with me during this uphill climb and battle to sanity and thriving day in and day out. With Autumn bringing my 4th Anniversary as full time blogger at The Covington News.

http://community.covnews.com/accounts/view/6373/

Please join me in my hometown as I bring you the sights and sounds of sweet summer time in Newton County, Covington, Georgia and thank you the reader for being so faithful all these years as I continue to do my best to bear good fruits of the vine. Through Jesus Christ and God the Father I will be successful in the years to come as I work slowly into a “blog to book” idea of mine from my blogs at The Covington News and hopefully become a memoirist in my near future. With the holy Trinity showing me His divine will and purpose for my life just as He has shown me the importance of my life touching the O.C.G.A. for the last 20 plus years of my life. Pressing onward and prayerfully,

As Always,

April

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Sheer Will Power. As She Paces. A blog to book memoir.

Sunday morning’s sermon had me thinking about my life and why the fact remains that young and impressionable children still have the divorcing attorney as their attorney during a legal separation or divorce in Georgia. The child having the same attorney as the divorcing parent is a travesty. Children need and deserve their very own attorney during the process of a divorce to really care for and get to the bottom of what is in their best interest. Not to be treated as a piece of furniture or household belonging or material goods as my children were in 2004.

During Sunday morning’s sermon we studied on It being a matter of Will Power. Will Power becomes a grandiose ideal. You can accomplish great things.

I feel that I have accomplished great things with becoming a nursing assistant in the State of Georgia and working closely with the physically and mentally challenged and the elderly as no one would have ever expected me to be working in the health field. I have shown them all wrong and proven to myself and to my Lord God that I can use my gifts and talents for a better world vision and leave behind a great lasting legacy not only in the courtroom for my children but behind the scenes in my life and in my career.

I am now in pursuit of this law along with my Certified Peer Specialist Certification, Stephen Ministry training and a blog to book idea of mine that I have put in motion. Given having accomplished the set goal of nursing assistant I feel it is now time to broaden my horizons and enlarge my territory as in The Prayer of Jabez and by including Stephen Ministry training as part of my agenda I hope for my plans to be pleasing and a delight to the Lord as well as serving him and my community while working towards these goals.

One need ask “Am I accomplishing the Will of God?” Universally all of us want to accomplish the will of God. You must be a part of something bigger.

Philippians 2:13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Paul wrote Philippians and for the Church to have intimacy with God. In Psalms David writes O most high Supreme. An Energon being what God does in our lives and through us. It is God’s joyful choice. God is giving us the power by his spirit to desire something different in our lives. Delighted in or choosing him over ourselves. Obedience and desire to joyfully choose, teach and transform.

Psalm 119

Delight and rejoice in commands. Transforms us to love following Him. Spiritual gifts are to be put into action. If you know Jesus act like it and live like it. Jesus serves you so go and serve.

I hope to serve God by taking part in Stephen Ministry training at Eastridge Community Church to better serve my patients, my community, my church and my Lord with a caring open mind and heart. I hope that the Lord has this as part of his will for my life and that I will be successful at completing the 50 hours of class time necessary for Stephen Ministry.

As I have often prayed for God to show me His will, purpose and plan for my life I continue to be brought back to the O.C.G.A. where I have left my mark for over 20 plus years now beginning in Newton County to Rockdale County and onto The Alcovy Judicial Circuit of Walton and Newton counties to include all 5 of my children.

I have been a strong advocate for the single parent suffering parental alienation, family violence, parental reunification and the mentally challenged all in one big blow over the last several years to current winning and being justified many times over in a court of law. So very happy and pleased with the court’s decisions in Order and Opinion of my life.

I am now hoping that given I have met my set goal of nursing assistant I can now go onto becoming a Certified Peer Specialist for the State of Georgia and include my Stephen Ministry training as an asset to accompany my skills and training and give me a larger heart enlarging my territory.

I have written of praying the Prayer of Jabez today and pray this prayer honestly and fervently that God will show me his face and his purpose, will and plan for my life once again. So very thankful that he has been with me each and every step of the way and that I have been able to share with my reader my belief in the Trinity and the Lord our God as a risen savior. Being that the Word became Flesh.

Having been in the judicial system for a great portion of my life I have dealt with attorney’s and judges for years now and have been accountable, responsible and ethical at all times and have attempted to carry my life as such as well.

I have spoken to State Representatives Mr. Rick Jeffares and Mr. Andy Welch of my ideas of a law for children during a divorce where they would have their very own legal representation just as I did during my younger years with my two parents divorcing. That attorney at the time being Honorable Samuel Ozburn of The Alcovy Judicial Circuit. Having family and an attorney who cared for me and me alone and I had their undivided attention to focus on my life and the best outcome for my life was a God send as I was not only able to graduate high school unexpectedly I was able to go on to graduate college and to adopt 3 step daughter’s in the process through legal adoption in the State of Georgia.

As I have stated numerous times as there has been no remiss, neglect nor abuse on my behalf to ever be mentioned and no hint, suggestion, question, implication nor accusation ever as to any wrongdoing as a mother nor as a wife to ever be brought to my attention I feel that I have led a blameless adult life and worked very hard to do so as a young single mother since 2004 and to live a life pleasing to the attorney’s, Judges, my community, my church and to find myself along the way.

I am not done just yet. I am working towards the desired goal of completing my certification for Certified Peer Specialist in the State of Georgia, Stephen Ministry training and a blog to book idea of mine that I have been working towards for sometime now with the idea of Charli Savannah’s Law always at the forefront of my mind and how children should not be waved around as some parade figurine for all to simply stare at but as human beings whose lives are greatly touched and impacted by the effects of a divorce and the two divorcing parent’s.

I have no idea what stories, excuses or lies my ex husband has made up to my four girls but one day I will as my girls will tell me along with my youngest biological daughter beside my side as mother and daughter in an open, full and loving relationship as the Court’s have ordered. He has had to have told them some pretty big lies over the course of the last ten years. Him and his family. Mr. Sasser is still so full of hate and vengeance towards me it is unreal and unheard of even given there has never been the first hint, suggestion nor question as to any wrong doing as a mother nor as a wife on my behalf. One would think that Mr. Sasser could take that and put it into perspective for the best interest of my children instead of going around continuing to carry a hateful bashing grudge against me just as he did at the commencement of our divorce proceedings in February of 2004 through August that year to present date as Mr. Sasser cannot and still will not admit that I am and have been a family violence victim even given all the medical, forensic and therapy records that support that I was abused for many years while being married to Mr. Sasser. All to be shared with my girls and with the world in due time as I press onward toward my blog to book aspirations. Becoming a certified nursing assistant was NEVER in my future but I have accomplished this set goal. Now it is time to move forward with Certified Peer Specialist, Stephen Ministry and my ideas of this law for children namely Charli Savannah’s Law so that children can be treated equally as the adults are and not caught up in a tangled web of lies, manipulation and deceit that come with divorce and hate bashing that typically comes from the abusive parent. Which is the case in my situation through the years even given great justice has been served on my behalf and I have won many court hearings to date.

My hope and prayer as I blog is to get this blog to book deal so that I may be able to share with my girls the true life that was led by me in and outside the courtroom that began for me in my 20’s. Given Mr. Sasser has continued to lie, make up excuses and tell far fetched stories of our alienation period I have no other choice in life but to show them different and prove him otherwise once again with my blog to book calling.

Asking for you the reader to continue prayer for me in my endeavors and set goals and continuing to follow me through the rest of my days hopefully soon in my blog to book wish. Very hopeful and enthused over July and August of this year in my life as we head into the Autumn Season I hope to have my Stephen Ministry training completed and working as a CPS towards my blog to book wishes in order to show my girls the cold hard truth of these issues through medical documentation, forensic records, photographs and court rulings to my full favor.

I keep telling myself all in due time, all in due time. I pray fervently for this summer to be a grand one and for my Autumn season my most favorite season of all to be spent in Stephen Ministry with my church and my community. Thanking you for continuing this path with me. It has been a long one since August of 2004 to present and given I will celebrate my fourth year at The Covington News this year as a full time blogger I will be attempting to secure this as my blog to book deal. Thank you all so very much and stay close by hopefully a full fledged memoirist in the very near future.

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Character Defects at Celebrate Recovery Eastridge

I have inquired about Stephen Ministry classes at Eastridge and will be getting the application to apply for the classes. I hope to take the 50 hours of Stephen Ministry lessons in August of this year at Eastridge. I am truly looking forward to the classes and hope to be accepted to attend the training so that I may use it with my nursing assistant career to better guide and assist my patients in their day to day recovery. Along with my peers at View Point Health and at New Rock and The Georgia Mental Health Consumer Network where I will be applying for CPS Certified Peer Specialist Certification in July this summer. Hoping to obtain my CPS Certification through the State of Georgia now that I have been in the healthcare world for some time now. Desiring to get involved with singing at Eastridge on Sunday mornings and on Thursday evenings at Celebrate Recovery. I would like to share here the 8 Recovery Principles based on the Beatitudes and The 12 Steps and their Biblical Comparisons.

Character Defects are the Root of our problems. The keyword is change. Romans 12 1, 2

Things that you do that you can learn to change. Change the way you think.

Thoughts become feelings and feelings become actions.

We are transformed by the changing of our minds. Having a Positive Mental Attitude PMA is a plus.

There are three types of character defects including :

Biological , Sociological and Theological

Physical Defects

Emotional Defects

Circumstances and learned behavior do not predict the future. DO NOT camp out in the past.

If you form a habit you get stuck. You are misusing a positive quality.

Some people confuse identity with Character Defects.

Biblical thinking is God’s standards. Purpose in Celebrate Recovery.

Do not skirt around the edges of Recovery. Get in the middle of the bed. Nobody should be left behind. Walk out of hurts, habits and hang – ups that life will throw at you. Dive in deep.

Often the pay off is you mask pain. We give ourselves an excuse to fail and reward our human nature. A nature which desires a pleasurable pay off. It can be self – defeating.

Satan constantly suggests negative thoughts.

Satan is not all knowing but excellent at watching behavior. The Real Big Book states Satan is a liar. Suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character. Character produces hope. The love of God encompasses us.

Character Defects

Principle 5

Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires. Matthew 5:6 NIV

Step 6

We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:10 NIV

A. Where do my character defects come from?

My chromosomes.

Genetics explain predisposition but do not excuse sin.

My circumstances.

Character defects are often attempts to fill unmet needs.

My choices.

Character defects are often positive qualities being misused.

B.

Why is it so hard to change them?

1. Because I have had them for son long.

2. Because I identify with them.

3. Because they have a pay off.

4. Because Satan discourages me.

If there were one character defect I could change that would make an immediate difference in my recovery and life, what would that defect be?

How do I cooperate with God’s change process?

Eight Recovery Principles based on the Beatitudes

1. Realize I’m not God; I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. Step 1. Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor. Matthew 5 : 3

We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behavior, that our lives had become unmanageable. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18

2. Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover. Step 2. Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. For it is God who is works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose. Philippians 2:13

3. Consciously choose to commit all my lie and will to Christ’s care and control. Step 3. Happy are the meek. Matthew 5:5

We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God. Therefore I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12 1

4. Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

Step 4 and 5.

Happy are the pure in hart. Matthew 5:8

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Lamentations 3:40

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5 : 16

5. Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask him to remove my character defects. Steps 6 and 7. Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires. Matthew 5 : 6

We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4 : 10

We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1 : 9

6. Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others. Steps 8 and 9. Happy are the merciful. Happy are the peacemakers. Matthew 5 : 7, 9

We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6 : 31

We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5 23-24

7. Reserve a daily time with God for self – examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will. Steps 10 and 11.

We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall. 1 Corinthians 10 : 12

We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact  with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out. Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly. Colossians 3: 16

8. Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and by my words. Step 12 Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires. Matthew3 5 : 10

Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and practice these principles in all our affairs. Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you may also be tempted. Galatians 6 : 1

On Thursday evenings at Eastridge we have New Hope Diner at 6:00 and Large gathering time at 7:00 in the Sanctuary and then Small group study at 8:00 and coffee and dessert following small group at 9:00.

I would love to have you visit Eastridge. I made a profession of faith and was baptized on April 2nd at Celebrate Recovery for the 3rd time in my life devoting myself once again to the Lord our God and to my church family at Eastridge. Having moved my letter  of membership for the first time in over 30 years from Oxford Baptist Chuch in Oxford, Georgia.

Small group guidelines include:

1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings. Please limit your sharing to 3-5 minutes.

2. Please, no cross talk. Cross talk is when individuals engage in a dialogue, excluding all others. Each person is free to express their feelings without interruption.

3. We are here to support one another. We will not attempt to fix one another.

4. Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group, stays in the group. The only exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others.

5. Offensive language has no place in a Christ centered recovery group.

Celebrate Recovery Eastridge 770-786-2048

Renee Rutledge Director Celebrate Recovery x 233

Colleen Horn Assistant Director Celebrate Recovery x 234

renee@eccmail.org

colleen@ecccmail.org

Eastridge is an Elder led church and I am proud to say that I admire and respect the choice of Eastridge being an elder led church as I have been under the mentor of an elder since young adulthood and greatly respect and value this relationship we have shared for many years to present. Loving my home church. Come visit with us at Eastridge. It is promised you will fall in love too with the welcome and warmness.

I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ sharing in that the “Word became Flesh.”

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Processing Grief and Loss

As I often find myself working on Grief Recovery myself from being alienated from my four girls after being a family violence victim and hospitalized for family battery and depression. The grief of the battery was enough not to mention having to live with the grief of being separated from four girls overnight after being a voluntary patient at Peachford following my visit to Northside Hospital Emergency Room. Even though justice has been served time and time again in our case  I still grieve as my ex husband has lived to lie, make excuses and hate. Teaching my four girls hate for me to spite the fact that there is NO hint, suggestion, implication nor accusation as to any wrong doing as a mother nor as wife. Not ever that has been brought to my attention in 20 plus years.

Recently working on grief in my own life. I have this worksheet to share from Peachford.

Myths about loss/grief

Don’t feel bad

Replace the loss

Grieve alone : Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone

Give it time

Be strong for others

Keep busy

Don’t speak ill of the dead

Truths about loss/grief

It is normal and natural to expect sadness at loss

We are taught and socialized not to talk about loss  We’re told Don’t burden others

We need to feel and be heard

It is natural to be angry at God/Higher Power

Others don’t know what to say, they feel uncomfortable or afraid of our feelings

they were taught the same myths you were.

Others don’t know how to deal with the loss either : they change the subject or intellectualize grief They say You’ll find somebody else. Be glad you have another child.

How do you know when grief is unresolved?

You are unwilling to think about or talk about it.

Your fond memories turn painful.

You focus on only the positives or negatives of that person.

You feel fear when thinking about the person.

Recovery:

Think about what you want to be different, more, or better in that relationship. We grieve because our relationship with the person we’ve lost is incomplete. Discover how the relationship is incomplete : What do you wish you had said or had not said, what do you wish you had done or not done, what do you wish that person had said or not said, what do you wish he/she had done or not done? Construct a time line, think of times when things were left unsaid or undone; don’t leave something out because it seems trivial.

Write a goodbye letter

Include amends. Say I’m sorry for the things you did or did not do or say, even with someone who has harmed you.

Include forgiveness. Say I forgive you for the things that person did or did not do. Cease to feel resentment this is something you do for yourself Do not do this to someone’s face.

Include significant emotional statements such as I love you, I’m proud of you, I hate you, I’m ashamed, I miss you

Say goodbye. You are saying goodbye to the pain not the memories.

Read your letter in front of healthy, supportive others. Visualize your lost person before you start and again before you end. If you begin to cry, talk through your tears.

Grief Recovery is complete when you can enjoy fond memories without them leading to painful feelings.

It is clear that I still carry grief in my life. The loss of four girls overnight and a battle against the State left me very uneasy and even given justice has been served many times over for me and my girls no reunification process has taken place as I am left prayerful everyday for our full, open and loving relationship we once shared as mother and daughter’s. Moving this mountain one day at a time for over ten years now never leaving not a single one of my children out in 20 plus years in and outside the courtroom.

1993 Art C. Arazuo, M.D. Maryanne Watson Ph.D.

1. Write and talk about what was said and done at the time of the loss. Give explicit details.

2. Write and talk about the importance of this person / place / thing in your life.

3. Write and talk about the impact of the loss, describe what you thought about and how it affected or changed your life – things you do or don’t do since then.

4. Write and talk about your feelings – sadness, anger, fear and how you would like to say goodbye.

5. Write and talk about and correct distortions.

Grief Recovery from Peachford Hospital worksheet and notes taken from classes.

As above I have written and spoken about my grief over the years at The Covington News, Word Press and facebook. I never imagined I would be able to share my grief but the Lord our God has blessed me endlessly with the opportunity to leave behind a lasting legacy for my children and grandchildren. The legacy that they will see once old enough to realize it exists and is there for the taking knowing how much I truly love and cherish all five of them. And have never taken the law into my own hands no matter the pain, grief and agony I have suffered.

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