It was on Thursday November 25th 1982 which was Thanksgiving Day. I was `10 years old and lost what was once one of my best friends. She developed Cancer at age 49 and passed away before her 50th birthday in 1982. Dora was her name and I was in attendance at her funeral services as a young girl. It really left a lasting impression in my mind and heart for many years and death was a very scary situation and experience for me to go through. I know death is a part of living but I was so overwhelmed at her passing that the death of others in my life over the years truly affected my life and left me feeling hopeless, helpless and very saddened and with a heavy heart. I was adopted in 1976 by my father Mr. Mayron Fuller of Covington whom my natural mother married and I grew up in Covington GA. I have lost my natural birth grandparents, my mother’s parent’s and my adoptive father’s parents. Along with the death and passing of my mother and father Mr Mayron Fuller of Hy Tec Machining and Ms. Brenda Fuller of The Atlanta Veterans Administration Hospital in Atlanta. So I have lost all 3 sets of my grandparents along with both my mother and father. My natural father is living but I have no contact with him. We were close for a short period while I was married but since my divorce he has been pretty much absent in my life. I am friends on facebook with several of my natural birth family members but my natural birth father does not attempt to make contact with me so I do not attempt to contact him nor to talk about it very much. I have had a few words with some of the Ramey’s on facebook about my feelings of estrangement from my natural father as they have taken it personally but he is a loser as he always was. Exactly the same alcoholic my mother left many years ago and abandoning father he has always been. It is hurtful but I live thriving with the fact of his absence and that he and my natural family are the only parent’s I have living. I think about breaking down and going to visit but not for certain if it would even make a difference to him so I just honor Mr. Mayron Fuller who adopted me and the Newton County historic Courthouse as my father and support his family. The Fuller Family. But at any rate I have lost every adult mentor in my family as I have gotten older and will be spending Thanksgiving without any of my natural family as I choose not to visit this holiday season. Thus far. I will be reminiscing my grandmother’s passing and my parent’s life. Thinking happy and joyful moments that were made fruitful in my life due to my grandmother, my parent’s and my mother’s sister Roxie Nunley and her husband at the time Mr. Jerry Nunley of Nunley Machining whom I lived with from about the age of 14 until 20. My aunt when I was a young teenage girl retained Honorable Ozburn to handle a custody request in the Juvenile Court of Newton County regarding me and Honorable Ozburn was my family law legal representation and the custody hearing went as planned and I moved in with my aunt and uncle Ms. Roxie and Mr. Jerry Nunley where I received great stability. During the cancer and near death days of my father Mayron he had sold his Machining business and was back working closely with my uncle at Nunley Machining at the time of his death. Both machine shops being in Covington, GA working with world – wide clients as top notch Machining businesses. So I will be spending Thanksgiving alone this year other than several friends that I will be seeing and spending time with. I have been estranged from my Aunt since the passing of my mother. It has been a very hard and complicated situation and hard coping with living without her in my life as she was like my mother. We were friends on facebook for a while and spoke from time to time but we are no longer on speaking terms unbeknownst to me as why? I have no clear idea as to why she has estranged herself from my life. The last three years I have spent Thanksgiving working at Ficquett at the community gathering for the homeless and needy in our community and those who just came together in the name of the celebration of Thanksgiving. I have not called to see if they will be having it again this year at Ficquett Elementary Theme School but they more than likely are. I do not know yet if I will be spending this Thanksgiving at Ficquett. I do not plan to as of this present moment. I plan on spending Thanksgiving with friends that are like family to me and reminiscing the life and celebration of life of my grandmother and my parent’s when they were living and family life was good. My grandmother was a stay at home mother who was very abused by my natural maternal grandfather who was construction foreman for Tyson Construction but very abusive as an abusive alcoholic to my grandmother and my maternal family. He has passed as well several years ago when I was living in Chamblee following my divorce. I could really and truly care less to honor his memory ever given his abuse to my family. So with all the death I have experienced of family members it leaves me saddened and reminiscing and trying to maintain the best attitude as possible. Remembering their lives and all the love that was given to me over the years between my parent’s and my aunt and uncle. As I received a lot of love and a lot of attention from all my family members once upon a time during their days of living. I am not certain if me and my Aunt will ever resolve our conflict. We have not argued but we have been estranged and I do not see an open door for reunification any time soon. It leaves me mourning her as well even though she is still living along with my younger cousins who were raised as my siblings. There were four of us and I was the eldest when Honorable Ozburn represented me in family law court for the custody hearing. My aunt and uncles children were reared and raised as my younger siblings. Who mean the world to me. Given these facts of death and estrangement I just thrive as a single mother trying to live one day at a time not falling apart due to being all alone in this great big world. Taking full care of myself for over ten years now without any support and very little support from anyone. Church families have supported me but none that I have stayed in constant contact with. My letter is still at Oxford Baptist Church where Pastor Alan Posey was pastor at the time and I have been attending Bible Fellowship Study led and lectured by Whitney Posey Capps in Conyers on the life of Moses. She was in my youth group for many years and now I get to hear her speak on the life of Moses and her love of the Lord. I love to hear her lectures.
Being involved with the State of GA so much as of the last few years have really brought me far and taught me a lot about thriving and self – help as I have blogged of self – help many times over the last 3 years. Being a part of View Point Health, The GA Mental Health Consumer Network, The GA Peer Institute, The Respect Institute among other health care conferences, training, education and teaching classes to my Peers has been my real support over the last several years as I have been in study to obtain my Certified Peer Specialist Certification attending many classes and graduating with quite a few credentials to my name in the health field. Now presently working as a PSA Personal Support Assistant by and through the State of GA Human Resources Department for the physically and mentally challenged as I am still in study to obtain my CPS Certification so that I may work strictly as a therapist in the health field. Working in the health field has been an excellent and wonderful experience for me and love going to others that are physically and mentally challenged and love my job and love going to work everyday.
My grandmother would be so proud of me graduating Dekalb Technical with my Business/ Legal Office Degree and Paralegal Certification and now working with a career in the health field. She would be just tickled and so very proud of me as would my parent’s. I am not certain if my natural family knows very much about my life. As a few of my cousins are facebook friends but we never really talk nor spend any time together unless I am on my soap box about how a true family should carry themselves and act.
Today marks the anniversary of my grandmother’s passing which was Thanksgiving Day in 1982 and I honor and remember her with great love and detail as she was such a beautiful lady who loved her children with all her heart and her family even given she was so abused. I am glad the Lord took her when he did. I wish her life would have been different and she would not have been a family violence victim but she was and truly suffered. I suppose I followed in her footsteps. Well I do not “suppose” I know I did becoming a Codependent caregiver to many over the years of my life as I was growing up due to my grandfather being an alcoholic and abusive. I followed in her footsteps as well as my mother marrying an alcoholic and leaving him eventually to marry my father. I have taken many Codependency classes and training along with it defined in detail in my divorce paperwork that I would attend counseling for Codependency as the caregiver and that Mr. Sasser my ex husband was not to interfere in the relationship of me and my daughter’s giving me custody of my youngest daughter. The prepared proposed Opinion of Hononrable Nancy Bills at the time ten years ago. Mr. Sasser’s very own attorney. I have not been in an exclusive relationship in ten years and have worked hard to outgrow codependency behaviors as it was instilled in my from a very young age to support others with alcohol, drug and gambling issues of their own leaving me to be their caregiver and care taker. I have not been that caregiver for many years now and have left that part of my life behind me moving forward in education and career to spite the lack of support and no support system. Making it one day at a time and thriving as a single mother taking care to take special care of my son Tyler who is now 22 as best to my ability with the help of his natural father and me and my son have never experienced estrangement or an absence in each others lives. We have maintained a very open, loving and healthy relationship to spite the custody and visitation hearings and wins to our behalf pertaining to his younger sister. My youngest daughter. With many wins in Rockdale County and The Alcovy Judicial Circuit for family violence victims, those who are parental alienated, parental reunification and the mentally challenged. Making a difference in the O.C.G.A. forever leaving behind a legacy that would and will make my children very proud of me just as my community and support system of View Point Health has been proud of me. Having the support of View Point Health and The GA Mental Health Consumer Network and The Respect Institute has been a wonderful and fulfilling experience but it is just not the same as family. It never will be but I thrive to do my best for them and follow suit of my many mentors over the last several years. Being a full time blogger for The Covington News now for over three years attending many community events and activities photographing the events and blogging of my life experiences. It has been proven therapeutic for me and is a known fact to be therapeutic. I hope to continue with my blog at The Covington News for many more years to come giving back to my community and being that pillar in my community that I developed during my marriage years raising 5 children.
Remembering my grandmother today and holding her life in high regard this Thanksgiving as I miss and love her dearly and hope and pray that the Lord holds her close by. Wondering when the day will come that I will be blessed to walk with her and my parent’s again in death. Being grateful this Thanksgiving for the many years of family love and support I did have before their passing and grateful that I have had some wonderful mentors in my life that have left a lasting impression in my life that I always try filling big shoes.
I called her Maw Maw. I love you Maw Maw and this Thanksgiving I will be reminiscing your passing and the good times when family was alive and well. Hopefully one day in my future to have a family again with someone the Lord sends right in his perfect timing.
Many blessings extended from my heart to you and your’s this Thanksgiving season.