My Thanksgiving 2014 Breathing again feels excellent

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! It is the wee morning hours around 3 a.m. here in GA and I just checked on the Turkey. It has been cooking for several hours now. I decided to put on a pot of coffee and blog for a while. Given it is Thanksgiving I am so thankful for a  decision that my mother made 40 years ago to leave my natural father and marry my dad whom she met when she moved to Covington from Villa Rica. I had a discussion on facebook with several of my natural cousins and it began out alright and cordial and turned into pure nastiness and hatred full of sarcasm on their part. Especially one in particular which I cannot believe that my Aunt Mary would settle or stand for given her good character. My Aunt Mary was the original owner of The Pot Luck Cafe in Monroe GA. Mary Ramey Edmondson. I cannot believe that she would have raised her daughter in such a manner or fashion in the way that I was verbally attacked. Clearly for “bashing” my natural father Donald Ramey as a POS Father. A father full of remiss, neglect and abuse since day 1 of my life. Clearly my mother made the best decision ever and I got a small taste of the hell she must have experienced with the Ramey family yesterday myself. My mother and aunt moved from Villa Rica to Covington GA in about 1975 and my mother met and married Mr. Mayron Fuller of The Fuller Family Farms at Almon Road, Atlanta Highway and 1 -20 and Hy Tec Machining. Yesterday as I sat and cried a while during our facebook conversation I was so grateful for the decision my mother had made to leave my natural father in search of a better life for me. She did just that too. There was a brief period during my teenage years where Honorable Ozburn was my legal representation in family juvenile law court in a custody proceeding between my mother and my aunt and I was somewhat separated from my mother and father living with my aunt and  uncle was the best thing for the family all around. Mayron though treated me as his very own daughter and especially during my divorce he went way out of his way to be a good father and support me in the best ways he knew how. Being there for me everyday. Helping me with my new home at the time, attending therapy with me and my aunt, attending court hearings with me and having me at his shop daily working closely with him keeping me busy. He eventually went to work for my uncle Jerry Nunley of Nunley Machining in Covington as he came down with cancer and the illness began to run its course. He worked closely with my uncle by marriage for a while before his death but he was always there for me and my children too. Whenever I called he would always lift a hand to help us or just be there to talk to me.

I had been praying pretty hard about family over the last several months and finally decided to address this issue of estrangement with my natural father with some of my cousins and my half sister as I had prayed about it and truly expected to get a good response from them. Not negativity which is what I got when they lay claim that my grandparent’s loved me so much and that my mother kept me from them. I truly understand my mother’s decision now. A true realization into the fact of why she left the Ramey family and finally some closure in my heart and mind as to why. I discovered some photographs of my mother getting married as a young teenage girl but it was not to my father Mayron so I was well into my teens before I even found out that I was adopted but I have often had and held the question close to my heart why would my mother leave or allow another man to adopt me or keep me from my natural father. The 25th was the Anniversary of the passing of my maternal grandmother which was Thanksgiving Day in 1982 and I wrote a blog celebrating her life and her death. I have often through the years prayed to her and for her to watch over me and give me guidance. I prayed that she would direct me as to whether or not to address the issue and I felt strongly that the answer was to “yes” question my cousins and half sister Dianne about my natural father. At some points in the conversation they were very derogatory and belittling towards me about me and my mother. I sat and could only imagine the hurt and pain my mother must have felt with this family. I have prayed for closure to this question for a long time now and finally on Thanksgiving Eve got my answer and feel a lot better now about the entire situation knowing in my heart of hearts that my mother made the right decision and that she and my grandmother have been trying to get through to me as to why she left and allowed me to be adopted. I got the answers I had been praying for. In one breath they were sarcastic and full of hate and others expressing love and care and concern towards me. I just cannot believe that my Aunt Mary Ramey Edmondson would raise her daughter Nikki to carry herself in such a manner but she was clearly the ring leader of the hatred and ugliness when she does not even know me. We have only met briefly at a few family functions I attended during my marriage outside of that she does not know me and has never been friends of mine on facebook but I have heard so many good things about my Aunt Mary I truly did not expect her daughter to carry herself in the manner that she did. I have found an ultimate peace this Thanksgiving that I have been in search of for a very long time now. A peace that surpasses no other in my life just by having this conversation with  my cousins and half sister. I was so relieved once I finished crying that I had pursued the issue and felt very close to my mother and maternal grandmother and felt that my mother had made the best and biggest decision of her life and that my life took a huge turn for the better being adopted as a young girl. A deep and big sigh of relief I have experienced and feel  like I can breathe again. Just knowing she made the best decision has been the ultimate Thanksgiving gift that I could ever possibly ask for.

Years ago during my marriage my natural father did admit to me that he was an abusive alcoholic towards my mother and basically did nothing to stop the adoption process. I was mortified. But I suppose at least he was honest. Given my conversation yesterday and the conversation with my natural dad years ago I love and understand my mother even more clearly than ever before. I have never abandoned any one of my children not ever. Not in life and not in the courtroom as I was not following in the footsteps of history of my past. My children will NEVER find a record of wrong doing on my part or behalf as a mother nor as a wife anywhere as it does not exist and there has NEVER been the question, hint, suggestion, implication nor accusation into my direction about any type or form of remiss, neglect or abuse as a mother nor as a wife and the open public court records speak for themselves that I fought long and hard for many years for all four of my girls and NEVER abandoned them or gave up on a relationship. Winning to my full behalf and favor a dozen or more so hearings in The Alcovy Judicial Circuit along with The Honorable Nation reversing his decision in Rockdale alienating me from my girls. We were separated over night due to my being in the hospital for marital abuse and depression. Noting more, nothing less. One day my girls were there and the next day they were gone leaving me to battle in the O.C.G.A. for custody and visitation rights so that I would not leave the O.C.G.A left undone and unclear as to my love, support and devotion to my children. With Honorable Bills, Honorable Nation, Honorable Rhymer and Honorable Ozburn all ruling in my full behalf and favor over the years it made me feel very good to know that I had never abandoned my children and that one day I will be able to share with them the entire record and the entire story and truth of the matter of our separation period. Our last year together as a family being spent at my place of employment with me as leasing consultant and contract Paralegal to The GA Force indoor arena league football team here in GA. With me and my children in attendance at each and every home game alone. My ex husband did not attend any games with us. Then the divorce came along in February of 2004 and my being hospitalized in 2004 for marital abuse in August of that same year. Leaving us separated and alienated from one another over night.

I have gotten many answers of relief this Thanksgiving Eve and Thanksgiving Day that I have been in search of for many years now and can finally breathe again. So with their sarcastic, uncaring, belittling attitudes I was able and given the courage to let go of that question in my life and be grateful that I was adopted and that my father Mayron and uncle Jerry along with my mother and aunt taught me unconditional love being the eldest of four cousins that I was raised with I was taught unconditional love as a family and received therapy following my parent’s divorce but my aunt and uncle never tried to separate or keep me from  my parent’s even though I was living with them at the time in my teenage years following Honorable Ozburn representing me. Of which I hold in great esteem and high affection. Along with much admiration and trust his decisions and his honest word. As he has never set me wrong. But no matter Honorable Rhymer’s or Honorable Ozburn’s Judgments, Opinions, or Wishes Mr. Sasser never has followed the court’s direct orders and has been held in contempt on multiple occasions. Even given Honorable Ozburns honest opinion that we all needed family therapy Mr. Sasser has not attempted ever to do such as that. I do not know if he ever will. I  know my youngest daughter is going on 16 and that there will come the day when me and her brother Tyler will be able to share with her the entire record made into a book for her showing her the facts of the matter and the truth of the story. Not being misled by my ex husband any longer. I keep praying for that day and hope that it will come very soon. As everything I have ever prayed for has came to pass I can only be patient and await the day when me and my son Tyler will be able to sit with  my youngest girl of the four and explain to her and not only explain but show her in open record and medical record the history of the divorce and alienation and my many years in court afterwards. Much of the documents are here at my Word Press account but I have made several books over the years and mailed them out to different individuals during my advocacy of my daughter and fully intend on putting together a very large book for my daughter’s in the very near future with all the medical record and all the court documentation. It is a project in the  making that I have been going to work on for some time now. It is now time.

So this Thanksgiving Eve and  Thanksgiving have brought much closure to my heart and an ultimate peace to my mind that I have been longing for a long time. I can breathe a sigh of relief and breathe  again. And actually feel very happy with my decision to initiate the conversation between me, my cousins and half sister. My half sister did at one point express the desire to have a relationship with me but it seemed as though the more other cousins chimed in with negativity her tune turned for the sake of popularity of the conversation. Attorney Michael Waters ending up representing me in the divorce with Honorable Waters being my father Mayron’s best friend since a young age I believe performed the adoption process. It was called the Dekalb Stone Mountain District at the time according to court records in Newton County. I even legally adopted my three older daughters in 1999 and passed a formal adoption process through the state which I have blogged of its requirements in this state many times over and can be found here at my Word Press blog.

I would rather live without them in my life considering our conversation and feel that my mother and grandmother have been trying to get that through to me over the years. It is very unhealthy  and I have been seeking closure the farther and deeper I have gotten into the health field career and study for my CPS Certified Peer Specialist Certification to accompany my degree in Business/ Legal Office Administration and Paralegal Certification of Dekalb Tech Covington Campus. After therapy following my divorce I decided then that I wanted to go into the health field and it has finally this year came to pass for me as I work even closer in the health field and towards my CPS Certification for the state of GA being employed through the GA Department of Human Resources. Their attitudes and demeanor were certainly very unhealthy at times and has shown me the big light that my mother and aunt have tried explaining to me.

I met a new friend Ken over the last week and we decided to spend Thanksgiving together cooking, eating and visiting my best friend Mark for Thanksgiving. And a surprise I have for Ken  later in the day this Thanksgiving. He is an excellent chef and wonderful in the kitchen. He worked wonders with the Turkey and has really helped me out a lot this year. The turkey looks and smells beautifully delicious and we will have many side dishes to accompany our turkey and I plan to take Mark a homemade plate of Thanksgiving Dinner. Me and my son Tyler have always maintained a  full, close, open and loving relationship as his dad or his family has never tried to interfere in our relationship. I may see Tyler for a while on Thanksgiving but he is going to his Aunt Carol’s on his father’s side of the family for a while. I just had him on his birthday for dinner at The Mystic Grill and his father Craig wants him to go to his Aunt Carol’s so I am waiting to hear from Tyler to see if he can come by my apartment or meet me somewhere at some point today or Friday as I have four days off this holiday weekend.

Up anxiously awaiting the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I cannot wait to tune in!

Here is to you and your family that you may have the experience of such love that I have this holiday season and closure and peace to any demons in your life just as I have found closure, love and the beginning of healing. I wish you and your’s the best and most happiest Thanksgiving Day ever. Here’s to you and your;s. Have a very special Thanksgiving. And if you are or happen to be alone know there may be a reason for it and it may just be best. Make the most of it and relish the time you get to know your true inner being. If you happen to be alone I wish you much happiness and love along with peace in abundance. Have a lovely day. Breathing again, April

2014-11-27 02.54.01 kenthanksgiving20142

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