Studying today how Unhealthy dishonesty can truly be. It can intensify the second go round when lied to or about. You may begin personlization or thinking that there must have been something that you had done yourself. So you build up what is called defense mechanisms and distortions.
Healthy is being aware and being validated. You need not justify reasons for boundaries unless within a very close relationship. Being bullied can leave you sad, angry, lonely and feelings of abandonment. Unhealthy people cannot explain things in a healthy way or process this.
With emotional reasonoing you are giving away to peopole who do not deserve your time or efforts.
By explaining your feelings and that you are self sufficient can cause problems but to expect an honest straightforward answer is often irrational from those who are unhealthy.
I will be studying Defense Mechanisims and Cognitive Distortions.
Patterns of feelings, thoughts, or behavior that are involuntary and arise in response to perceptions of psychic danger. They are designed to hide or to alleviate the conflits or stressors that give rist to anxiety. Some defense mechanisms, such as projections, splitting, and acting – out are almost always maladaptive. Others, such as suppression and denial, may be either maladaptive or adaptive, depending on their severity, their inflexibility, and the context in which they occur. Some defense mechanisms are typically adaptive, such as sublimation and humor.
Acting out – Acting without reflection or apparent reagard for negative consequences. Which the bully is fully responsible for.
Denial – Failing to acknowledge some aspect of external reality that would be apparent to others.
Devaluation – attributing exxaggeratedly negative qualities to self or others.
Displacement – Redirecting a feeling about an object or a response to an object onto another, ususally less threatening, object. Ex. Kicking the dog when you are angry at your boss.
Dissociation – A temporary alteration in consciousness or realty.
Fantasy – Submitting excessive day dreaming for the pursuit of human relationships, more direct and effective action, or problem solving.
Idealization – attributing exaggeratedly positive qualities to self or others.
Intellectualization – engaging in excessive abstract thinking to avoid experiencing disturbing feelings.
Passive Agression – Indirectly and unassertively expressing agression toward others.
Projection – Falsely attributing your own (unacknowledged) feelings, impulses, or thoughts onto others.
Rationalization – Creating reassuring or self -serving, but incorrct, explanantions for your own or others’ behavior.
Reaction formation – substituting “acceptable” behavior, thoughts or feelings that re the exact opposite of your own unacceptable ones.
Repression – Being unable to remember or to be aware of disturbing wishes, feelings, thought or experiences.
Somatization – The person becomes preoccupied with physical symptoms disproportionate to any actual physical problem.
Splitting – Viewing yourself or others as all good or all bad, and maybe alternately idealizing and devaluing the same person.
Sublimation – Developing a socially acceptable course of action to yoru unacceptable impulses.
Suppression – The Intentional avoidance of thinking about disturbing problems, desires, feeling, or experiences.
Undoing – Engaing in behavior designed to symbolically make amends for previous unacceptable thoughts, feelings or actions.
Defense Mechanisms are based on belief that behavior including actions and thoughts are influenced by prior events.
Wish/Desire/Impulse (not expressed) = Anxiety/Perceived Danger = Defense Mechanism
Worksheet and Notes : Defense Mechanisms
When you experience Trauma not remembering can be a body’s way of protecting itself. But our 5 senses will trigger trauma.
Having to take the necessary steps to protect myself and my life from what “TRUE” stalking, bullying and threatening really are has created chaos in my life that I plan to nip in the bud beginning several days ago with turning the entire issue over to investigation with The City of Covington Police Department for them to handle for me. I have NEVER taken this route when harassed or bullied in the past on this online forum but had no other choice in the matter this time as it was clearly affecting my physical and emotional health and Ken nor I could take anymore of the immature nonsense along with the threats and bullying that we were enduring day in and day out all because we are in a relationship together and he has a jealous friend who has stirred up drama and trouble for the both of us that we have handed over to Police for further investigation prior to going before a judge along with healthy measures to take care of our physical and emotional health.
We have even lost friends because they have condoned the bully. Which we both hate but is very true as they are very passive agressive in their anger and betrayal. Since turning the evidence over to The City of Covington Police I have not seen any further threats or insults but have been keeping a close on the forum just to be sure as it has me scared for my safety. What “true” bullying and abuse is all about. After the radio talk show with Thrive Global Radio Network we felt it best to step forward to take measures to protect ourselves against the insults, threats and bullying. I have been a member of this open forum off and on since October 2011 and do not feel that I should be ran off the site due to abuse and stalking Ken and I on the date site and on facebook too.
The City of Covington has their photoos, states, ages and comments and quotes in printed form straight from the forum itself and Ken and I cannot only provide user names but real names and up close photos of our abusers. We will be working more towards healing and the healing process of our tension over the upcoming week. Along with more study into bullying and recovery from bullying.