I spent the moring with my biological father Donald Ramey and my half sister Dianne at my dad”s house in Walton County. It brings up a host of memories for me.
First off I want to wish my Father Mayron Fuller of Hy Tec Machining in Covington and The Fuller Family Farms at Almon Road and Old Atlanta Highway a very special father’s day as he was taken from me in 2009 from cancer. Oh how I miss him terribly as we had just begun to get a very strong father and daughter relationship established after my divorce. He was there for me through every part of my divorce and did the best he could considering the shape and condition I was left in following a family violence battery issue. Me and my dad Mayron would have coffee together every morning at his shop and he would see to it that I made it home safely in the afternoons. One day we were traveling down highway 36 and had a long talk and he let me know he was sorry for any mistakes he had made in my life. The talk meant the world to me. I have moved in right next door to where his shop was located and it has triggered a host of emotions for me as I try not to cry missing my father and wishing he were still living.
My biological family including my natural father Donald Ramey abandoned me at a very young age and even though I love them dearly abandon is exactly what my natural father did. It was not until many years later that I learned of having a natural father and that Mayron was not my natural father but had adopted me at a very young age. My mother did not want to discuss it. My aunt, her sister told me everything and explained it all to me. As a young teenage girl I went to live with my natural father for a while and I only ended up with an attempted suicide. During my marital years we were fairly close and he would visit my home often. Once I got my divorce I never really heard from him anymore. My mom, aunt and father Mayron took care of me and supported me until both my parent’s had passed away. Leaving me alone without either one of them. I sure do miss their love and support at any given time day or night that I need them. I would give the world to still have my parent’s both living. It is so heart wrenching at times. I just close my eyes and fight back the hot tears not wanting to cry but to be happy that they are both in a better place than I and that they are at peace. I hope with all my heart they are at peace. I have prayed many times for their passing and for their resting in peace. I have prayed until I am wore out. But I continue to pray.
Getting to see my half sister Dianne today was very good. We did not grow up with one another and we also have a brother named Laroy. My half brother. I am friends with both of them and have gotten closer to them over the years and love them dearly and hope to get to spend more time with them and my natural father.
I love him so. But, he has not been a father to me and is still not. I went to my step – mother’s funeral services and my natural father has not called me not once since the passing services. I have made attempts to call him several times but he has not reciprocated my love and affection.
Today was nice and it was good to see him and he hugged me tight and told me he loved me but it is just not the same as always being there for me no matter what as my father Mayron was. He would have done anything in the world for me within his ability and my natural father does not even call or visit. It seems as though his abandoning days are still not over and done with. I could never abandon any one of my children. Not ever. Yet my natural family has done so since my birth. They do not get that if effects me deeply and that I do hurt over this entire issue and often just try and not think about having a natural family that has abandoned me but that I had a good life and was raised well by my mother Brenda, father, Mayron and Aunt and Uncle Roxie and Jerry Nunley with support, love and discipline and being taught to love unconditionally so I have done so to spite being abandoned. My half sister and brother have reached out to me and we are as close as can be expected I suppose but I would like to be closer with the both of them. Hopefully in time. It was a good visit with my Dad today and so now the ball is in his court. I am going to document and keep track of when he gets in touch. Mark my words I bet you that he does not. I wil let everyone know in a few weeks how our relationship has gone even with me visiting him today on Father’s Day. Having been adopted was a joyous time in my life and all in all I had a good father growing up, during my marriage to my children and during my divorce as Mayron helped me through everything. My natural family gets very upset when I discuss these matters and when I call them out on it but it is the God’s honest truth. As I said my half brother and half sister have reached out to me over the years and my half sister invited me today to come and see our natural father with her. Hoping that this gets easier. I am 43 now though. Just do not think it is ever going to change with my natural father and that I will just have to accept the fact that he does not care enough to call or come and visit. Just as he did not care enough to take care of me as a baby and work to stop the adoption process as he went right along with it.
Hoping really hard not to offend anyone but I miss my father Mayron and wish so that he was still here with me to tell me what to do.
I love you Donald and wish you a very Happy Father’s Day and hope you get in touch over the next little bit.