Principle 6 Forgiveness Happy Are the Merciful. Happy are the Peacmakers. Matthew 5 : 7&9 Celebrate Recovery

Principle 6 Forgiveness Happy Are the Merciful. Happy are the Peacmakers. Matthew 5 : 7&9

You Matter. You are not Alone. The Possibilities are Endless. Celebrate Recovery Eastridge.

Tonight I began my first Step Study Program through Celebrate Recovery and as I sat around the table with 20 other beautiful ladies it dawned on me that during my share time I needed to discuss my unhealthy anger, grief and resentment towards my ex husband, several attorney’s and Honorable Nation that kept me from my 4 girls due to being a family violence victim and suffering from depression after 10 plus years of abuse that my ex husband still refuses to admit to. Even as I have stated time and time again Mr. Sasser nor his family have ever had not one single hint, question, suggestion, implication nor accusation as to any wrong doing on my behalf as a mother nor as a wife to my children nor to Mr. Sasser. I have never been questioned as to any remiss, neglect nor abuse ever per my children nor towards Mr. Sasser. I hold an awful lot of guilt, shame, anger, grief and resentment towards Mr. Sasser and Rockdale County Judicial Circuit for ruining our loving, close and strong mother and daughter bond that was shared for over 10 years all over the simple fact of my being hospitalized for family violence and depression even given medical staff properly reported the family violence and abuse to the Rockdale County Sheriff’s Department.

I have given of my devotion, care, concern and time as to where my 4 girls are concerned in the courtroom and in life. Working extra hard to be responsible, accountable, dignified and positive towards this situation even given the mother in me is still mad as hell and with a great deal of grief. I have been grief stricken since August of 2004 even given much success in the courtroom. The unhealthy unresolved anger, grief and resentment still remain as these characters and individuals that played a role in this ruining of our lives and raping us over the coals have yet to apologize publicly or on a personal level. Even given Honrable Nation did reverse his decision at a later date the pain is still apparent and the resentment still very much prevalent. As I sat around the table at Step Study Celebrate Recovery tonight I realized that it is the best place for me to be over the next 9 – 12 months sharing of my story as I do at Celebrate Recovery on Thursday nights and getting rid of all this unhealthy anger, grief and resentment even though I have never personally bashed nor down graded anyone involved and have attempted to lead a very positive life if you are one of my regular followers here at Word Press or at The Covington News you will know and understand this completely. I have attempted to take and teach self – help therapeutic classes at New Rock through View Point Health, study to become a Certified Peer Specialist and over the last year have spent it working as a home health aide and nursing assistant of which I am very proud of. My degree is in Business/ Legal office Administration and Paralegal Certification but I have grown very fond of the health care world and working with the physically, mentally and developmentally challenged and with the elderly in the health care world.

I will be working all the 12 Steps and their Biblical Promises during my Step Study giving particular focus on the 8 Recovery Principles based on the Beatitudes and working long, hard and very seriously on Principle 6 being Forgiveness.

Principle 6

Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others. Steps 8 and 9

We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31

We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do s would injure them or others. Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24

Happy are the merciful. Happy are the peacemakers. Matthew 5: 7 & 9

This week at Celebrate Recovery I will be helping in the reading of the 12 steps and their biblical promises. I cannot wait to be a part of this special reading that takes place each and every week at Celebrate Recovery.

I will continue with my career in the health care world and continue per doctor’s orders to blog of  and share my story of parental alienation, depression and codependency as the caregiver to Mr. Sasser. I am hoping and praying that with this upcoming Step Study Celebrate Recovery program that I will begin to heal and receive some relief from all the hurt, anguish, anger, grief and resentment that I have been responsible for carrying the burden of for 10 plus years. I would not and do not ever wish any pain on another person but the truth of the matter is I want each individual involved in separating me from my 4 girls to hurt the very same way I have had to hurt. To have to endure the very same day in and day out grief I have had to experience. So grief stricken that you feel you may lose your mind. So anguished and pained that you long for the Lord to wrap his loving arms around you. So scared and frightened that it is as if your darkest night ever of you life you have had to experience. Karma is not good enough for these individuals and I want and deserve a public and personal apology for ruining my life and the lives of 4 girls which no one stepped up and became primary and personal care giver to these 4 girls in the very same way that I did for 10 plus years ruining their futures with no hope of an education and no hope of a bright and shining future. I pray each and every day for the failure of each individual that has harmed us so that they may suffer right alongside us and have a taste of how they truly damaged our lives and left us stranded with me to pick up the pieces in the courtroom and a court of law and in therapy. Of which even given my girls have been court ordered timeless and countless times to be in therapy they have received none due to Mr. Sasser’s continued contempt of court to spite any Judge’s opinion or direct Order over the last 10 plus years. I do not wish any harm or injury to come to these individuals but for failure, anxiety, pressure, grief, anguish and pain to befall them just as it has me and my girls lives. God forgive me if I am wrong in wanting these individuals to come to grips with reality of how they ruined our lives forevermore.

I have shared in therapy these feelings and will continue to share in my Step Study Celebrate Recovery program that I need to forgive these individuals and move on even given me and my girls have been the ones to have to lose precious time with one another because their father decided that for 10 plus years he would act abusively and bring anxiety and depression on me by tending to his daily hurts, habits and hang – ups all while raising and caring for 5 children as their primary care giver and a pillar of my community. Perhaps the Step Study program will lessen these feelings of anguish and resentment but I have been blogging of this horrific issue for nearly 10 years now with no relief nor release of grief and pain.

FORGIVENESS

Principle 6

Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

Happy are the merciful, and Happy are the peacemakers. Matthew 5 : 7 and 5 : 9

Step 9 We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5 : 23-24

Have you accepted God’s forgiveness?

God puts people right through their faith in Jesus Christ. God does this to all who believe in Christ, because there is no difference at all, everyone has sinned and is far away from God’s saving presence. Romans 3 : 22-25

Have you forgiven others who hurt you? Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12 : 17 – 18

Have you forgiven yourself?

Come, Let’s talk this over, Says the Lord, No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly driven snow. Isaiah 1 : 18

Leader’s Focus Question:

What hurts from a past relationship are you still hanging on to and how can you let go of them?

I will be working extra hard not to feel nor hope for nor repay evil for evil as is mentioned above during my Step Study Celebrate Recovery program and will fervently pray over the Forgiveness principle and work diligently to reveal my dignity even further that I already have in the positive manner that I have shared my life with the world and others and be mindful and prayerful for the Lord to continue to help me bear good fruits just as he has shown to me in my life making that difference in the O.C.G.A. over the last 20 years advocating for children day in and day out time and time again. Always ending up proving my point in a court of law whereas my 5 children are concerned always in the end coming out ahead of the game and on top even given Mr. Sasser stories, lies and excuses he has made to himself and to my girls as he has idly sat by and watched them suffer for the last 10 years putting himself and a business endeavor that he failed at might I add before and ahead of our 4 girls. Allowing them to abandon their education and not being primary care giver and allowing them to walk any sort of way in their lives. Which is their story to tell. Hopefully truthfully and with the memories of our last year spent together at my place of employment as Contract Paralegal to The Georgia Force and Leasing Manager for the company I was employed by at the time with my children in attendance at every home game with me and always visiting my place of employment during our last year together as mother and daughter. I hold tight to that last year’s memory as each and every home game was recorded and we were seen in the public eye together at all the home games and at my place of business and I have had many to tell me what an excellent mother I had been. I keep their photos all around me, in my apartment and online. The ones that I have that is even though I was given all my photographs in my divorce I never received not the first one from Mr. Sasser as Mr. Sasser has never complied with a Judges direct Order even to go so far as to throw away my entire life that he was in possession of. Erasing any memory of my life forever. Forever gone as he nastily got rid of my entire life to suit himself to spite a Judge’s direct Order.

Working tonight on a personal devotional time and in that this Step Study Celebrate Recovery program will be beneficial to me in healing the pain and darkness over what has felt like the death and passing of 4 little girls who are all now grown up.

In his holy and precious loving name,

April

Please join me this Thursday in the speaking the 12 principles and their Biblical Promises at Celebrate Recovery Eastridge.

An eye for an eye or the law of retaliation, is the principle that a person who has injured another person is penalized to a similar degree, or in softer interpretations, the victim receives the [estimated] value of the injury in compensation

Matthew 5:38

New Living Translation
“You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’

Love Your Enemies
38″You have heard that it was said, ‘AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.’ 39″But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.…

Tonight began my very first night of my first Step Study program through Celebrate Recovery at Eastridge Community Church and I have been weighing in heavily tonight in devotion among an eye for an eye and not returning evil for evil. As I have read tonight about Principle 6 Forgiveness I find myself stuck and at a crossroad for even expressing these feelings. But I have expressed them tonight at Celebrate Recovery step study and intend on working on Principle 6 being Forgiveness.

Do we wish for an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth? Especially when man has wronged or damned you?

Do we wish anxiety, fear, darkness, failure, downfall of others who have injured and harmed us? Do we wish for nightfall and darkness to cover their world? Is it possible to wish these things upon another and still pray for them and their souls for damning your life? Can you express being grief stricken to the point of madness and heartache and still love your enemy? If a child or loved one dies or is killed can you not be expected to grieve for that loss of relationship? My situation has been described in therapy as such. As such as the dying or passing of a child. I experience this day in and day out and am beginning this year as I have received my XI year recovery Chip from Celebrate Recovery to work on receiving some relief and reprieve from the anxiety, pain and grief that I am so torn over.

I have made a positive impression on the courts and in the courtroom and had much success as I have allowed the courts to handle each and every bit of this situation concerning my girls. I have never and would not take matters into my own hands but do feel that I need to work on Principle 6 Forgiveness in my step study over the next 9 months to a year so that when the time comes I will be able to not only explain to my youngest biological daughter the true details and facts of open court record of our alienation period and her father’s abuse but to also be able to show her in authenticated court documents and medical record of the abuse and hell I have had to endure and carry the burden of over the last 10 years.

As Mr. Sasser has not ever had complaint one about me as a mother nor as a wife and neither have my children or ex in laws for that matter I am left always asking myself then “What exactly is his hate and hate bashing problem?”

I will be blogging more and more of my Celebrate Recovery Step Study program over the next several months and on Thursday of this week I will be delivering the 12 Steps and their biblical promises at Celebrate Recovery. I invite and implore you to attend and become a visitor at Newcomers 101 at Celebrate Recovery. “The best place to be on a Thursday night.” “The very first day of the rest of your life.” Renee Rutledge

This photograph was taken for me on the lawn at Eastridge Community Church to mark my very first evening of a step study program and I will hold near to my heart each and every lesson as I work through each lesson each week praying for peace and sanctuary whereas my girls are dead to me due to man himself damning us and ruining our lives forevermore without reproach, concern or hesitation in hurting the 5 of us ladies. With no public nor personal apologies ever from Rockdale County even given The Rockdale County Sheriff’s Department, Lt. John Mumford, Northside Emergency Room staff, The DeKalb Community Service Board and attorney along with private psychiatrist have all been in attendance in Honorable Nation’s courtroom in the past to testify fully on my behalf.

I have prayed since a very young age of raising my 5 children that I would be able to make a difference in the O.C.G.A. and I feel that my life has been laid out to make that undeniable difference since a very young age. I have actually been praying for this opportunity and chance since I was a young juvenile girl with the legal representation of Honorable Ozburn as my family law attorney and mentor. I made a difference in the O.C.G.A. whereas my 3 legally adopted step – daughter’s were concerned for over 10 plus years while married to Mr. Sasser and do not and cannot fathom why Mr. Sasser or his family would ever think that I would not continue to pursue and have perseverance to continue to make that difference in the O.C.G.A. for al 4 of my girls. I pray that you as my reader can comprehend the pain, agony and just how grief stricken I have been for the last 10 years and yet still attempting to take the high road and positive demeanor and mannerisms where each and every individual that has hurt us has been concerned never bashing, hating nor threatening their lives nor livelihood only wanting them to see and feel just exactly the same pain that comes along with the passing or death of a child or loved one just as I have had to endure. Karma is not justice where these individuals are concerned. Incompetency is putting it lightly on their behalf. Lives that were well put together and high functioning even given the amount of family violence we experienced and the hurts, habits and hang ups of Mr. Sasser’s life that we all dealt with, me and my 5 children. I can only begin to imagine what life for them has been life without me in their life and how poorly as a matter of fact they have turned out with me all the while begging to continue to be a part of their lives along with the Opinion and court Order of many judges to present that it is in the best interest of my girls and myself to have the strong, open, loving and close bond we once shared. Mr. Sasser does not seem to care to comply with court Orders or Opinions beginning with Honorable Bills to Honorable Nation to Honorable Rhymer to Honorable Ozburn to Honorable McAdams all of the State of Georgia expressing that it is in the best interest of me and my girls to maintain a close, loving healthy relationship. Given my daughter is nearing 16 this Autumn I am not certain if the court would even rule on a contempt action against Mr. Sasser at this time given her age. I plan on conducting some further research into finding out given her age if the court will even hear a contempt petition against Mr. Sasser once again. As I have told the Rockdale County District Attorney’s Office directly to their faces ” I am not shutting up about my girls,” they are aware of what a determined and strong willed mother I am in protecting the best interest of my girls and actually were the ones that taught me this road of advocacy through the years of being married to Mr. Sasser raising 5 children. They should after their example not expect any less of me.

I have repeatedly shared what it is to become a Certified Peer Specialist for the State of Georgia. Including:

1100+ Georgia Certified Peer Specialists Since October 2001

Since 2001 to present

I have written often of becoming a Certified Peer Specialist to include the following requirements:

> Candidates must have diagnosis of mental illness or a dual diagnosis of mental illness and addictive disease and must desire to identify themselves as a person with mental illness current or former consumer of mental health services.

> Applicants must hold a high school diploma or GED and may be requested to provide a copy of this document.

> Must demonstrate strong reading comprehension and written communication skills as indicated on their responses on the pre – test which is part of the application.

> Must have demonstrated experience with leadership, advocacy or governance.

> Must be well grounded in recovery

These facts are taken directly from the Certified Peer Specialist brochure.

The motto of the CPS being “Each One Reach One.”

I will continue with my career in the health care world and continue working with the physically, mentally, developmentally and challenged and the elderly along with study for my Certified Peer Specialist essay examination and including attending church every opportunity I get at Celebrate Recovery and Celebrate Recovery step study program.

I pray tonight that the Lord guide me to the stage of forgiveness that I need to be at in my life and that he inflict a conscious upon Mr. Sasser for once in his life.

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