Survived Abuse. Survive Recovery.
The selfie to end all selfies. What other self would I ever need? To find myself once again embraced by the Dream Catcher is a miracle in and of itself. I keep telling myself you survived the abuse, you can survive the recovery.
I am a child of the dance of Codependents since a very young age as the care giver to my natural father, grandfather and mother as alcoholics and then in return marrying a man with Codependent qualities that I became the caregiver to for over ten years that nearly ruined and took my life. As Honorable Bills spelled out in her prepared proposed Opinion to Honorable Nation I would continue my therapy for codependency as everyone in Rockdale knew I was suffering at the hands of Mr. Sasser. My forensic records from Peachford indicate such abuse for many years and that I have now been in recovery for over 11 years. Being codependent caregiver pretty much my entire life up until the time of my initial hospitalization and diagnosis of marital abuse, depression and codependency as the caregiver to other alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers and those with mental or physical challenges themselves. I would grow to learn more and more about codependency and how to thrive with it and how to raise my son with care and support but not enabling him. I attend Celebrate Recovery Eastridge in Covington, GA where on Thursday and Sunday nights I attend classes for the recovering codependent. In that my story is a little different as I have never had addictive diseases as my diagnosis I have been the caregiver whom suffers just as much even falling harder as we fall prey to our abusers and their nasty habits that are nearly the death of us.
Dream Catchers were all over my home. In various forms. Dream Catchers themselves, pictures, decorative items, clothing. I could not get enough of the Indian life style and even down to my wedding bands being from the Hopi Indian Tribe with a ring that Mr. Sasser bought me being the steps to enlightenment from Coyote Trading Post in Little 5 Points that I cherished for years and continued to visit the store even after our divorce. So what other selfie could I possibly ever need? Just wondering if I will end my road of documenting my life in selfies here at the end of this summer with fall upon us and beginning anew now that I have my Dream Catcher selfiies in place with the perfect top I purchased from Rustic Flair on Floyd. No longer the dancing codependent and reaching the milestone of 11 years of recovery and even working as a nursing assistant for the last year of my life. Helping others with physical, mental and the developmentally disabled with their daily living and health.
I will be working on an upcoming video for Mental Health Justice and will work on shortening my video to at about 5 minutes. Telling of my codependency, marital abuse, depression and recovery and working in the health field over the last year as I work my way to becoming a CPS Certified Peer Specialist for the State of Georgia. I need to shorten my video and make everyone aware that you can succeed and you can become successful as long as you will devote your self to self – help care and whole health wellness and thrive to live each day to the fullest by finding beauty in everyday when you awaken. I have spent especially the last 4 years as I have been a full time blogger with the Covington News sharing of my daily life and community involvement attending many events in my community and photographing these events and sharing of my love of my community. This November I will celebrate my 4th year with the Covington News.
October being National Prevention and Awareness month for Domestic Violence I will be advocating and will be giving some facts in my video on being the victim and being abused and why we stay. I stayed for the sake of my children all 5 of them and nowhere else to turn in a time of need. I finally took the step and bought my own home in Covington and ended up not being able to have contact with my girls due to being a family violence victim and being diagnosed with depression and codependency as the caregiver. I have since had much success in the courtroom but am still alienated and estranged from my girls.
Wondering if with this new season of Autumn upon me I have documented my past enough? Or if I should continue to blog of my history? Hoping that by reaching out that I am helping others and helping others gain insight into themselves and to really care for and be gentle with one self. I know that I will be working on my video hopefully at the beginning of October either next Friday or Saturday taking the advisement of my mentor at Mental Health Justice and putting together a piece that she and the group will hopefully enjoy. There is just so much information to my past it is hard to sum it up in 5 minutes or less.
Not ever having the first question, hint, suggestion, implication nor accusation as to any wrong doing as a mother nor as a wife for that matter has made the last ten years really baffling nightmare to say the least.
I love capturing my surroundings and sharing them with my reader. Hoping to stumble upon something exciting welcoming Fall this weekend!