So I hear from my middle adopted daughter today once again and she proceeds to tell me that she had a “great childhood” and that “her father and I did a great job raising her.” I have missed over 10 years of my daughter’s life for her to have such wonderful memories that she spoke of today. It infuriates me. There has never been any hint, question, suggestion, implication nor accusation on my behalf as any wrong doing as a mother nor as a wife to my ex – husband but him and his family sure have done their fair share of keeping the girls from me. All 4 of them over the last 10 years and hindering our relationship all for nothing gained and no foundational basis of reasoning. It was so good to hear those words from her today as I have often wondered how she felt about her childhood. So many questions on my heart and mind as we have been talking. We are supposed to meet up any day now. Her birthday is this month and I would really love to see her.

At “Change the World Day” I got a picture for her to give to her father for his birthday. A Bonsai Tree by Mr. Joe Don Willis artist extraordinaire. I hope I see her by then so she may give her father the present. So hopeful and prayerful that by the holidays I will be working on developing a new bond and a new relationship with my girls. My son misses them as well. Her words were like gold today, but so bitter – sweet and just leaves me longing to hold her in my arms. I sit and patiently wait to see her and her sisters.

2015-10-12 19.15.11

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