Doing the only thing I know to do in these wee morning hours of my current situation and circumstances and that being giving it over to the Lord my Father and having no more further discussion with the other party about my walk through cotton fields as with her cursing, threatening and name calling and resorting to sharing her racism on facebook that she is out of control, belligerent and dangerous at this point.
I have been attending a step study class at Eastridge Community Church where we cover the Eight Principles based on the Beatitudes and the 12 steps and their biblical comparisons. I have thus far worked my through lessons of denial, powerless and hope.
Principle 6 being to Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others. Happy are the merciful. Matthew 5:7, Happy are the peacemakers Matthew 5:9.
I have been working my way through my step study that I will be attending over the next year and have gained much ground in the areas of denial, powerless and hope. As I have explained to my fellow classmates and peers I have been in therapy for family violence and depression and codependency as the caregiver with View Point Health and my private psychiatrist for 11 years now and have taken and attended many classes and conferences on whole health wellness and self – help recovery.
Working my way up to Lesson 4 this week on Sanity. I need to know that God can restore me and my current situation and circumstances to Sanity.
Principle 2 Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover. Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4
Step 2 We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:13
Insanity has been described as “doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result each time.” Sanity has been defined as “wholeness of mind; making decisions based on truth. Jesus gives us strength to face the fears that in the past have caused us to fight, flee or freeze. (Stepping out of Denial into God’s Grace)
Being in a Christ centered recovery group yes as even the Mental Health Courts of The Alcovy Judicial Circuit order Celebrate Recovery and the step study programs as part of the sentencing phase in court. I attend but have never been court ordered to do so but feel that even though I attend a Christian Community Church that I have enough love of mankind, humanitarianism and ethics to be able to hold discussion with any religion and attempt to evaluate their decisions, circumstances and lives as God would have me to do in his name and with fairness, equality and understanding along with privacy and ethics.
Working on the Sanity lesson in these wee morning hours and throughout the week as I share in my journey this week with continuing with my daily detox inventory. Please join me.
I have been most hurt and offended and feel left trapped, betrayed and threatened.