It has been such a beautiful last couple of days in my life. Yesterday renewing and celebrating my career as a nursing assistant for over a year now was a glorious day in my life. I had came upon a blooming (I believe) Azalea plant on Floyd Street and thought in my mind, How beautiful and wondered if it could be a sign from above, from my heavenly Father that he was watching down on me and my girls and working hard on answering prayer of reunification for me and my five children and seven grandchildren that I have so long fervently prayed for. This was last weekend. Yesterday I came upon another blooming Azalea at my private psychiatrist appointment for check up at Peachford and knew without a doubt that the heavenly Father was trying to show me that he hears my cries of loving and missing my girls throughout the last 10 years. When once I could not eat, get out of the bed, bathe, breathe, nor read and write. It has been an uphill climb for me for over 10 years now but it has been special and easy in the sense that the heavenly Father has answered so many of my prayer requests along the way. Ones that I would imagine up in my head while lying in bed helpless and hopeless so many years ago. The dreams have been brought to reality and given the much success I have had in the courts it has been a wonderful and bitter sweet journey for me. Especially given my life long mentor Honorable Ozburn gracing my life once again.
Today my daughter celebrates her Sweet 16th and I have no way of getting her the gift I had intended for her even given our much success in court her father has been bound and determined to use the one weapon against me that would hurt the most and that is doing everything within his power to alienate and estrange me from my girls even given all the love and bond we shared for over 10 years. Hearing from my middle adopted daughter that she had a great childhood was wonderful words to my heart and hope that he soon comes to realize how he and his family ruined my girls lives and future by trying to hurt me and now in the long run have managed to diminish their successes, hopes and dreams of a bright future with any sort of hope for a career. It infuriates me to think that there has NEVER been not one single hint, question, suggestion, implication nor accusation as to any wrong doing on my behalf as a mother nor as a wife to ever be mentioned by anyone and yet my ex family cannot see how in the long run of trying to hurt me as best they could they have actually only hurt my girls in the long run. I can weigh the pros and cons from her emails and just imagine the life that they have led and that the live now struggling to make ends meet.
My daughter turns Sweet 16 today and I wish her all the best in this world and cannot wait to hold her in my arms. Trying to stay and remain calm, cool and collected for myself and my career and recovery from family violence and depression. Longing to hold my girls in my arms once again hoping that they grow to understand the advocacy over the last 20 plus years has all been for my four girls and their livelihood.
I love you Charli Savanah and Happy Sweet 16 birthday girl! I will hold close to my heart your special gifts from your loving mother until that special day comes when I can share with you all the love in the world that has built up in my heart over these long last 10 years of our alienation period. In advocacy and awareness I strive to thrive just as I had to do at the beginning of mine and Mr. Sasser’s relationship. The advocacy that began in 1994 has never ceased to be an open and public issue for all four of my girls.
The blooming Azalea today was just another sign to me that the heavenly Father does hear my cries and has given me so much to be proud of over the last 10 plus years. I just hope to be able to have the reunification process with my girls that turns their lives and livelihood around for the better. Something that has totally ceased to exist in their lives.
Keeping in mind today as she celebrates her Sweet 16th the love of the blooming Azalea that shines in my life this October.