I have always worked towards growing seeds and not weeds. I did not suffer mental diagnosis and psychiatric hospitilization until my 4 girls were thrown into the back of a car and driven off with and a family violence incident came about with me to never see them again until over 10 years later. I find myself and catch myself often plucking these weeds and having to replace them with seeds for my own health and sanity. I too struggle though with missing them and longing for them as though I have experienced their deaths due to parental alienation even given much and great success in the courtroom. I am at a phase in my life where I have everything great going for me. I have a roof over my head, an auto, a career, my Certified Peer Specialist graduation, my college education, my church family along with competent, caring and concerned friends and Elders yet I cannot shake this feeling of exhaustion and worry for my girls. Their lives are a wreck and in shambles. All of them and it disheartens me to think of them struggling and in pain because of neglect of parenting skills on the other parent’s behalf throughout the years. Really struggling this week with growing flowers and not weeds for the sake of my own sanity. Mrs. Renee mentioned coming to church for 3 or more years and never letting your guard down. Often times when one has been so hurt to the point of desperation and anguish enough to commit suicide one cannot open up enough to share the true self or when one has been conditioned not to share their feelings with the world because you keep hush hush about your family life and how bad you are treated it is often times hard to truly peel back the layers and show oneself. After having everything taken from you and all your worldly possessions tossed out from every year of your life leaving you with nothing but the clothes on your back it becomes a scary feeling opening up.
I have been advised to seek court action against Mr. Sasser and regarding my grandson, Brittany’s son. I may invest the time to file Pro Se actions in both instances. I am going to discuss these issues with my family law attorney Mr. Matt Ledbetter and get his opinion but I have been advised by a great Elder of my church to pursue the matters and it is truly weighing heavy on my heart that I must enlighten the Courts in direct petition of just how truly anguished my children are and just truly how much they have struggled and suffered at the hands of parental and grandparental neglect through the years. I hate to lay or pass blame but there is no other reasoning nor excusable justification for my girls aches and angst and problems they are living through. All of them including my youngest daughter whom has expressed great pain and anguish to her older brother, my son Tyler. Praying heavily over a couple of Pro Se actions making my voice and Opinion known in the Courts once again. Prayerful over this and will seek God’s face and his purpose and plan for my life and pray that his Will be done and handed down. Knowing full well this will grow more seeds and flowers for my girls and son and grandchildren and not leave it settling as weeds of their lives. I have to keep clear and confident focus now as I enter into investigation the possibilities of filing another Pro Se action against Mr. Sasser and now for my grandson as I have been advised to do so. Weighing all my options at this point and prayerful for all involved.